The King of Queens with subtitle

Doug wants to buy his own motorcycle after riding Richie's. Carrie finds out, and won't let Doug get one. He eventually gets one anyway without approval from Carrie. When Carrie finds out, she takes up one of her old hobbies of smoking. Doug then has to choose what he loves more: His bike or his wife.

Carrie is sad because she has no friends to spend time with, so Doug decides to get in touch with the woman which just moved to queens. Carrie spends a lot of time with her new friend and cares less about Doug, which he dislikes.

Doug is messing around at work with a stapler gun and accidentally gets shot in an unlikely place.

Deacon and Kelly ask Doug and Carrie if they would be godparents of their two children, but Doug and Carrie are not sure if they're right for the job.

Doug gets very upset with Carrie after he sees that his big screen TV is stolen after Carrie left the garage door open.

Doug has to pick Arthur up from his job, because Carrie is working late. On the way home, Arthur talks, and talks, and talks. When Carrie gets home, Doug calls her father a “Demented Old Circus Monkey”. However, Carrie went out of the house to get a beer. Arthur heard what Doug said about him, and does not talk to him. The only way Doug can fix this mess, is to take Arthur to a New York Mets baseball game.

When Doug and Carrie go on vacation to celebrate their anniversary, they decide to take their friends Deacon and Kelly which turns out to be a big mistake.

It's double the havoc when Ray and Debra Barone (Everybody Loves Raymond) come and visit Doug and Carrie.

Doug's ego gets busted when he gets checked out by a waitress.

Doug doesn't want friends of Carrie to stay for the Thanksgiving weekend and convinces Spence he should get a place of his own and that he can stay with Doug and Carrie until he has found one.

Doug, Carrie, Deacon, Spence, and Richie all are on Cooper's bowling team. Their team is mediocre. The new manager of Coopers (Robert Klein) tells Doug that he will drop the team unless they start to win some games. Doug knows that Carrie, the team's worst player, must be dropped in order to win. Now Doug has to decide what is more important: His wife or the game.

The Christmas season is upon Doug and Carrie and they decide they should invest in stock, but they soon feel the joys and stresses of it. Arthur wants to decorate the house with more Christmas items.

Doug's cousin Danny is getting married but Danny does not have a best man. Carrie volunteers Doug as the best man. So now Doug is on the hook and worries about giving the speech and has to set up a bachelor party. Sadly Danny doesn't have too many friends so the party has many empty seats, and to top it off the stripper isn't 100% either!

Doug invites his old high school championship football team to his house to have a party. Doug tells Carrie that he got a huge block to set up the winning touchdown. While talking to a reporter about how they won the game, the team remembers Doug's teammate Tom Busterman, who is confined to a wheelchair, making the block. Doug gets the game tapes from the attic, and has the team watch the play. Doug was given Busterman's jersey by mistake that game, and that's why they got the players mixed up. Doug was the real hero.

Because it's very cold, Arthur gets to sleep in Carrie's office, which is right across Doug and Carrie's bedroom. Doug doesn't like this and can't wait for some warmth so Arthur can get back to his basement.

At a board game evening Doug finds out Carrie cheats. Carrie doesn't come clean about this to Doug which makes Doug a bit edgy, especially since there's another board game evening planned.

Its Valentines day and Doug and Carrie reminisce about the first time when they met and how it really wasn't love at first sight.

Doug and Carrie make new friends and are afraid if their other friends, Deacon and Kelly are moving in on them. Arthur gets a shipment of his old favorite, salty cereal.

Arthur's 75th birthday is coming up and Doug and Carrie decide to throw him a surprise party, but their in for a rude awakening when two of the invited guests are at each others throats and they can't find Arthur!

Though he has promised Carrie to go to the theater, Doug goes to Atlantic City with Deacon to gamble.

Carrie accidentally tells the wrong Doug she loves him. Doug volunteers to be a Big Brother.

Doug and Carrie have dinner with their annoying neighbors and Doug gets involved in a pyramid scheme when Tim starts convincing him on how much of a great idea it is.

Doug and Carrie go to a new Italian restaurant where Carrie gets a wrong order and causes chaos there. Doug gets very upset because he loved the food and he wanted that place to be his and Carrie's new restaurant. Carrie bans Doug from there, so Doug has to start sneaking behind her back to eat there.

When a colleague has gotten flowers (which she initially thought were for her), Carrie is disappointed and Doug tries to show his romantic side. Meanwhile, Arthur has jury duty.

When Doug does the voice of a new co-worker, he feels that Carrie will only listen to him if he does the voice. Doug now wonders if Carrie is still attracted to him.

When Doug's boss sees what a comedian he is, he asks him to “roast” him at his banquet. However, Doug finds that he is not as funny as he first thought. Will Doug be able to “roast” his boss?

When Doug learns that Carrie is buying him clothing from the “Big and Tall Shop”, he is now determined to lose weight. While he is on his journey to lose weight, he tells Carrie that she needs to make some changes to her lifestyle as well. Meanwhile, Arthur is trying to keep the family safe by getting a safety dummy.

When Carrie spends a night out with some of her colleagues, she finds out that they are more successful then she is. Carrie never went to college. Now, she is trying very hard to get back to school and get a good education to become more successful. But will she be able to balance work, school, and family at the same time?

While Doug's company is in strict negotiations, he decides to buy a brand new SUV. When Carrie finds out, she demands him to take it back. At this time, IPS has gone on strike. Now Doug is out of work.

It is week two of the IPS strike, and Doug still has not gotten a job. To get back on his feet, his sister Stephanie get him a substitute teacher job at her school. However, it is a high school, and the kids are not so nice. Can Doug survive?

It is week three of the IPS strike, and Doug has just been hanging around the house for all three of them. Deacon has also been out of work and Kelly has had enough of his laziness. Carrie and Kelly decide to have Arthur, Doug, and Deacon spend the whole day together. However, their plan backfires, because the three of them become uncontrollable delinquents. In the end, the strike is ended.

Doug, Carrie and Arthur are thinking about the first Thanksgiving they (and Arthur's second wife Lily) spend together.

When Kelly's great aunt dies, both Deacon and she have to go to Chicago and they have no one to watch their two kids, so Doug and Carrie offer to watch them while they're gone. When they first start watching the kids Carrie was terrified of the idea, but soon after they began to love the idea, up until Kirby catches Doug and Carrie being intimate in their parents' bed.

When Arthur goes to Carrie's work he is offered a job there, which really begins to irritate her. Doug competes to be Mr. May for IPS but Deacon is in the way of him getting it.

It's the Christmas season and the Heffernan's see that they have a new neighbor who happens to be Lou Ferrigno. Arthur wants Lou to read his screenplay to get it produced. Doug decides to buy Carrie a camera the only problem is that her boss at work also bought her a camera which happens to be nicer.

Doug and Carrie run into an annoying couple who are happening to get married. The couple invite them and Doug and Carrie say they will be there for sure. Then they later find out that the wedding is in Maryland which is a five hour drive and Doug and Carrie don't want to attend any longer. Arthur thinks of another crazy scheme, on having half priced footwear for sons and fathers.

Doug delivers a package to a mom and sees that she has an H.D. T.V. and with the super bowl coming up he can't stand looking at his own T.V. Doug later finds out that Carrie's boss has an H.D. so he asks her if she will invite him to Doug's poker game so he can convince Carrie's boss to watch the super bowl at his place.

Doug is going to throw a paint ball party for Deacon. However, Doug becomes angry at Carrie because she finds Deacon attractive. Kelly is angry at Carrie because of what she said about Deacon. It all leads up to a climactic battle between friends.

Doug sees Deacon with another woman while he told Kelly he had to work late.

Carrie bans sex for two weeks because she's afraid she and Doug don't talk enough.

Doug lies to Carrie about having to work late so he can play mud football and get out of going to her seminar. Now sick from his night of football in the rain, Doug starts watching TV and begins to drift off to sleep… ‘The Honeymooners’: Doug dreams that he is Ralph and Deacon is Ed and they scheme to get Doug out of the house to go bowling. ‘Wheel of Fortune’: Doug dreams that he, Arthur and Carrie are contestants on The Wheel of Fortune, where the puzzle being “Doug Heffernan is a big fat liar.” ‘Brian’s Song': Doug dreams he is in Brian's Song as Brian Piccolo …

Doug tells Carrie he doesn't agree with the way she treats Arthur and because of that Carrie lets Doug take care of Arthur.

Doug receives an offer from FedEx and tells his IPS boss that if he wont give Doug a better route than he will transfer to FedEx. Lou Ferrigno sees Carrie slaving around the house and offers her if he can help, they soon start doing more favors for one another which ends up giving Carrie quite an orange tan.

During Deacon and Kelly's separation, Doug and Carrie go out with Kelly and run into a guy, Bill, Carrie knows from work. Bill and Kelly end up going on a date…

Doug's parents are coming in town so Doug and Carrie decide to go and pick them up at the airport and they bring upsetting news to Doug. They have him sign papers about their wills and what would happen if they were to go into a vegetated state or what not. Arthur roams the airport acting like a passenger to get discounts on items in the airport store.

After a big storm Doug and Carrie catch their annoying neighbors in their backyard cleaning up the after math of the storm. They than give the idea to Doug and Carrie that they should tear down the wall dividing them and make it on big backyard. After the Heffernens tell them no on the idea the neighbors get a pool that disrupts there backyard privacy. Carrie is wanting to fight them on it, but Doug is not sure where he stands.

Danny's father Stu asks Doug to arrange a job interview for Danny at IPS. Doug however doesn't want Danny to work with him.

Doug and Carrie feel that they are ready to become parents. Their only problem is that Arthur is always around, and never gives them any time to themselves. Doug hires a dog walker named Holly to walk Arthur for a couple hours. Arthur does not know that Holly is a dog walker. Carrie uses the time for her own personal pleasures. Doug hates that she is not paying enough attention to him with the time he is buying. Eventually, Arthur finds out what Holly does. Eventually, Arthur and Holly become good friends.

For Carrie's birthday, Doug decides to get her laser eye surgery. Doug brings her to the place, and the surgery is a success. The next day, Carrie wakes up to blurry vision. The next day she wakes up to the same thing. Doug calls up the doctor and asks if these symptoms are normal. The doctor says they are not normal, and Doug is now very nervous. Carrie finds out that Doug went to a cheap place, and used discounts.

Doug is ready to break the IPS record of most consecutive day without a broken package, or complaint. While he is ready to break it, his co-workers are not so excited. The old timers are not happy with Doug because he's going to break the record held by their old friend. Even Deacon is mad at Doug, because Doug broke one of Deacon's packages years ago. On the last day, Doug has to deliver light bulbs. He has to go up stairs to deliver them, but can not because the stairs are wet with paint. Doug has to throw the bulbs up or the company will call Doug's supervisor. It …

The friendship between Doug & Carrie and Deacon & Kelly is seriously tested when Doug smashes Deacon and Kelly's car.

Carrie brings Doug to her company retreat for the weekend. Carrie tries to get Doug to look like a successful person, but he puts on a bad show. Doug tells Carrie that he will try to work harder to her get a promotion. He even tells one of the senior partners that he climbed Mt. Everest.

On Halloween, Doug buys a pumpkin for the tricker treaters. Arthur comes in the kitchen and smashes it. Arthur has “banned” Halloween from the Heffernan household. Doug goes back to the shopping center to get a pumpkin and a whole bunch of other Halloween decorations. When Arthur sees this, he has a small heart problem. Arthur has become very angry at Doug. He tells Doug that when he was a child, his father made him trick or treat for hours just to get pennies. That is why Arthur hates Halloween. Doug makes it up to him by getting him a childhood sweet treat at a …

While Arthur is in the hospital getting Angioplasty, Carrie and Doug go through his room to find his sleep mask that he requested. Carrie finds an acceptance letter from Florida State University. She knows that he kept this letter from her, so he would have a better life. Before Arthur goes in for surgery, he tells Carrie that he never told her about a phone call from her boyfriend in high school. In the meantime Doug has become an emergency contact to a man he delivers to named F. Moynihan.

When Arthur comes home from his operation, Doug and Carrie decide to install a nanny-cam to watch over him. While getting a life insurance plan, Carrie decides that if she unexpectedly died, Arthur would continue to live with Doug. Doug really doesn't like the idea. In the end, Doug, Carrie, and Arthur find that being together is more important then finding out who gets stuck with who.

This episode is set before Doug and Carrie's marriage. Carrie is very nervous to be married to Doug. She can not stop vomiting. When the two meet with the priest, he remembers that Doug and Carrie met at camp as kids. When Doug tells his family, his cousin Danny says that it wasn't Doug that Carrie fell on, but it was him. Doug was at “fat” camp that year. In the meantime, Arthur can not pay for the wedding and lets Doug's parents pay. He spends way too much money. Doug can not get the courage to tell Carrie the truth about the story. This story is the only thing that…

When Doug and Carrie's plane makes a rough landing, Doug takes the oxygen mask all for himself. However, their plane was on the ground. Carrie is upset that Doug would not help her if she was in danger. Now Doug is trying his hardest to think of a time when he helped Carrie. Meanwhile, Spence moves in with Doug's cousin Danny.

Carrie's boss requests her to get Doug to be an expert witness in a court case, however Carrie feels unsure on how he will do. Spence and Danny have a house warming party because they just moved in together. Danny meets Holly he wants to ask her out, but Spence says he can't.

It's Christmas and Carrie get another negative pregnancy test. So Doug and her go to a fertility doctor and they find out the reason they are having trouble is because Carrie only has one Ovary working. The doctor also tells them that they have a few fertile days coming so they should get going. The only problem is Doug's parents are coming to visit for the holiday.

Carrie grows jealous when Spence's girlfriend recruits Doug to test her culinary work.

Deacon asks Doug to come along to Atlantic City for a weekend. Carrie wants to go salsa dancing with Doug but concurs and they go to Atlantic City. However, Deacon has send a message that he won't be coming. Doug's boss on the other hand, did come to Atlantic City and Doug and Carrie don't seem to get rid of him.

Deacon and Kelly are still separated and Doug takes a very depressed Deacon to some clubs. Doug really gets in the groove and makes a habit of it, with or without Deacon.

When Doug and Carrie find an old check in a wedding present, they need to invite Doug's annoying relatives to write them a new one. The Heffernans plan on going to New Orleans with the money. However, Doug's relatives say that New Orleans is “their town”, and tell Doug and Carrie not to go without them. Doug and Carrie get to the “Big Easy”, but can they get back without them knowing.

Carrie's work has an annual golf trip, but Doug and Carrie used to always take Deacon and Kelly. Now that Deacon and Kelly have split up, Doug and Carrie have to try and find another couple to invite to the golf trip. But Deacon later meets a woman and now he can go on the trip and bring his new girl friend along too. Carrie meets his girlfriend and has a hard time clicking with her. Holly agrees to watch Deacon's kids, but she has to bring a reluctant Arthur along.

Uncle Stu is willing to pay for Doug's dream: his own sandwich shop! Carrie doesn't think this is a good idea but is afraid to tell Doug.

Doug's parents are visiting for a week while Carrie is on a business trip. At his work, Doug learns all personnel will have to take a test.

Doug discovers Carrie is much more fun if she drinks a cocktail, or two…

Doug and Spence have a high school reunion, but Spence doesn't want to go because he had a relationship that ended really badly. Doug is looking forward to it, until Carrie starts wearing a new hairstyle, which is a tight bun that looks like a librarian's hair. So now Doug is afraid that she will wear her hair like that to his reunion.

Doug and Carrie donate enough money to Kirby's school library to become patrons of it. However, on the plaque they're only listed as friends.

Doug and Deacon bet 100 dollars on a fight that they are not allowed to bet on. They win 5,000 dollars, and have to get rid of it quick or Carrie will know Doug disobeyed her orders not to take the money. Doug and Deacon decide to take off from work for a whole day and spend all the money. The money is spent on fancy dining, expensive cars, and a live living room performance by the ‘money man’ Eddie Money.

When it turns out that Doug's new dentist once had a crush on Carrie, Doug thinks he hurts him on purpose.

Holly asks Doug if she can get a raise for walking Arthur, while Carrie gets a promotion on being the project supervisor which changes her hours from 8 PM to 6 AM, so now Doug and Carrie get to hardly see one another. Doug also has trouble sleeping at night so he decides to use Arthur to solve his problems.

Doug and Carrie get new neighbors who are really clean cut and high class people. When they get to know them Carrie feels that she and Doug are below them. Carrie really begins to care on what they think about them. Arthur keeps thinking of sneaky ways to convince Spence in getting into the subway for free.

After she gets the raise she prayed for, Carrie starts praying for all kinds of things. Doug can't help himself and starts praying for petty things as well.

Deacon brings his son over to Doug and Carrie's house after foot ball practice, and Deacon begins to complain about how Kirby hates it. So Deacon asks Doug to help him teach the team. Doug begins to love the sport again…a little to much.

While Carrie has to babysit the boss's son, Doug flirts with an ugly girl at the bowling alley to make her feel better. Spence bought TiVo and can't wait to see what TiVo will record for him.

Carrie and a guy (Kurt) from her office get along well and when Doug finds out people at Carrie's office call Kurt Carrie's ‘work husband’ he feels threatened. Even though he knows Kurt is gay.

Doug and Carrie run into an ex-girlfriend of Doug from high school. She still has contact with Doug's mom, who's coming to town.

Out of boredom Doug makes a very waggish picture of himself at a wedding and he let's Danny take the blame.

Carrie and Doug have four tickets for a month to the Knicks games and try to find the perfect couple to join them.

Deacon wants to give his kids a great Thanksgiving but can't do it all by himself. Doug loans him Carrie. Carrie turns out to be more than Deacon bargained for.

It's almost Christmas and there is a lot of confusing about who's getting who a gift and what the gift may be.

Carrie persuades Doug to see a therapist about his eating habits. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to control his addiction to nasal spray.

Carrie is nervous about an upcoming job evaluation but Doug can't be bothered because he's desperately trying to get everybody to come to his Super Bowl party.

Doug and Carrie go to the supermarket and pick up their developed pictures, however they get another couple's pictures and in every picture the couple is doing something exciting. This makes Carrie feel that she and Doug don't do enough with their lives. Doug does not want to do anything exiting until he picks up the couple's newest pictures again and looks at their racy photos. Arthur gets a cell phone and has no one to talk to.

Doug has to cancel dinner with Carrie on valentines day because IPS is having him deliver penguins to Albany. But he is in for a surprise when the penguins get loose in his truck. Holly just got dumped by her boyfriend and comes crying to Carrie, so Carrie tries to make her feel better by going out with Holly to a club. Arthur and Spence spend their Valentine at the local senior center.

While Doug and Carrie are on vacation with friends, Arthur calls Doug to say there's a mold problem in the basement that will cost $ 7,000 to fix.

Doug and Carrie have to pay $12,000 for the mold problem and Doug reluctantly asks his father for financial support.

Doug and Carrie have hired Russian workers to fix the mold problem. However, the workers do not have the working moral Doug and Carrie expected.

When Doug tells Carrie he sometimes lies because he's afraid of her, they decide to be supportive to one another.

Danny becomes an IPS driver and Doug gets upset because he feels that Danny is always following in Doug's footsteps. Doug's boss also told him to show Danny the ropes. But when Doug gives Danny his route to prove to him he cant do that well, Danny proves him wrong by completing the route 45 minutes faster then Doug. Holly tells Arthur that he is like a Grandfather to him, but Arthur wants to be more like a Dad.

Carrie starts buying and returning clothes so she can wear expensive clothing without paying for it.

Arthur reveals that he has a half-brother named Scitch who he has a house with, which makes Doug think that Arthur should move in with him. The only problem is that Arthur hates Scitch and doesn't want to live there for that reason.

Doug and Carrie take a trip to Florida to visit Doug's parents. Doug finds out quite a few secrets from his childhood. Spence asks Arthur to help with the meeting of his girlfriend Denise and Spence's mom.

Doug manipulates Carrie via Arthur to get things done his way.

Doug takes Carrie out for a romantic holiday to a place they visited ten years ago.

After Doug loses some major weight, he decides to take Carrie to the same vacation spot he did 10 years ago. The only problem it wasn't Carrie he took there. So now Carrie is upset with Doug, and to add on to that they get lost in the woods and can't find their way back to their hotel.

While Spence isn't happy with Denise's new job waiting tables, Doug can't handle the fact that Arthur and Carrie are better at ping pong than he is.

Doug and Carrie want to renew their vows.

When Doug hears from Carrie that Deacon's ex-wife wants to reunite with him after a two-year separation, he can't decide whether or not to give Deacon the heads-up. When Deacon informs Doug that he just met a beautiful stewardess and is spending the entire weekend with her, Doug decides not to tell him about his ex-wife's plans to reunite with him. But when Carrie discovers this, she demands that Doug tell Deacon so he doesn't ruin his chances of getting back with Kelly.

When Carrie drags Doug to her business picnic, Doug plays baseball with Carrie's fellow co-workers and Carrie's boss notices his great play out in the field. So he asks Doug to pretend to be a lawyer so he can play on their real team, which gets Carrie nervous. Arthur begins to feel uneasy around Deacon when he finds out that his ancestors had slaves.

Carrie finally has a good gynecologist, but she's afraid she'll lose him when Danny - whom he hired for some garden work via her - overprices him.

While Carrie is worried she might lose her job, Doug lost the koosh ball Deacon got from his son and tries to get it back.

At Thanksgiving, a shabby looking man asks Doug if he can use their telephone to call a friend because his car broke down. Carrie doesn't trust the man.

When Carrie is having trouble getting a new job, she decides to take some time off to find herself. But Doug notices that Carrie begins to become very lazy and does not do one thing that she said she was gonna do.

It's Christmas and Arthur wants to have a Christmas card sent out with a photo of him and a few close ones, but he is having trouble finding someone to take a picture with. Carrie begins to feel extremely bored because she still has no job, but when she hears that their is an opening at Doug's IPS job she decides to try it out. When she tells Doug, he doesn't feel comfortable with the idea of Carrie on his turf.

When Doug wants to buy a chainsaw, Carrie reminds him that when she says “No” about something Doug can't argue on it because of the first house that he got when he and Carrie first married. It was a complete disaster.

Arthur has won 2,500 dollar and wants Doug and Carrie to buy a new refrigerator.

Doug and Carrie babysit Major and Kirby every once in a while and feel it's only right if Deacon and Kelly watch Arthur every now and then.

While at an art gallery, Carrie bumps into a woman and they start talking. It turns out to be an ex of Doug.

Doug's in the hospital. When Carrie visits him, he's asleep. He's dreaming of and talking about a whole bunch of girls.

On his new route, Doug has to deliver to a man who always opens the door wearing only a towel. Carrie starts out as a dog walker. Arthur has a grave to sell.

Without knowing it, Deacon becomes friends with Doug's elementary school arch-enemy.

Doug and Carrie go on spring break holiday to Doug's parents. Carrie however wants to sleep in a hotel.

Arthur makes a fool of himself while Carrie has a job interview and at home Carrie calls Arthur a lousy father.

While Doug tries to sabotage Carrie's plans to befriend her new colleagues, Spence and Danny nurture Arthur to tempt girls.

Doug, Deacon, Danny and Spence are headed for Memphis so Spence can tell Denise, who's about to get married, they belong together.

Arthur and Doug are participating in a shuffleboard tournament.

Doug takes Carrie to a spa because he needs credit to go to Las Vegas with the guys.

Doug feels neglected when Carrie works overtime and seems to even like her job.

While on his way to an overeating support group Doug notices an abusive relationship group and joins them instead.

While Carrie is very pleased when she gets her own assistant, Doug isn't happy with a new and funny colleague.

Carrie brings Doug to one of her work parties, but Doug forgets one of Carrie's co-workers names so he fakes cardiac arrest.

Doug's parents come to visit, when Doug's dad goes to enter a model train competition, Arthur keeps Doug's mom busy.

Doug thinks a midget stole his wallet.

When Doug and Carrie notice that their really good friends Deacon and Kelly are spending time with a new couple, Doug and Carrie do whatever they can do to find new friends.

Doug buys a new cologne which seems to impress everyone who smells it except Carrie. Arthur shows Spence and Holly how to sneak into movie theaters.

Carrie hires a maid, Doug does too!

Doug pursues his dream of becoming a bartender. Meanwhile Arthur wants to become chairman of the senior center.

When the Heffernans begin working out with the Ferrigno's, Doug secretly makes a pact with Lou so he can sit around instead of working out.

Carrie discovers a romantic line Doug once said when they were dating comes from a film where the main character said it to a monkey. Meanwhile, Danny falls for Holly and thinks she feels the same way about him.

When Doug delivers a package to his old high school, Doug reminisces about the time when he went there and played football, which makes him act very childish.

Carrie turns 35 and doesn't like it, at all.

Deacon finds a new friend and Spence convinces Doug that the reason his has been spending time with him is that he is black. And the woman that makes Carrie's pedicure won't do it anymore.

It's Arthurs birthday and to avoid spending time with Arthur, Doug calls himself on his own cell phone and acts like he has to report to work. But when Carrie finds out that Arthur's birthday wish is to spend more time with Doug, she tries to force Doug on having more bonding time by him taking Arthur to St. Louis for the College Baskeball Final Four. While Doug and Arthur are gone, Doug's dad stops by unexpectedly and Carrie is forced to spend some bonding time with him.

When Carrie has to take a trip to Lowes because she is re-doing her office, she asks Holly to come along because Holly has more room in her van. Carrie tells her the reason she wanted her to go is because she thinks that Holly has good taste in stuff, but her and Holly have opposite tastes. Doug tries out a new diner, but the waitress ignores him which causes problems and the waitress then wants to fight Doug. Arthur wants to go on a senior cruise so to get the money he starts to do a little gambling with other senior citizens.

There's a blizzard in Queens so Carrie hurries to buy herself an I-pod, but when the clerk doesn't ring the I-pod correctly, Carrie gets a free I-pod. When her car gets stuck in front of a church, she begins to feel guilty. Doug is out in the storm delivering, but he stays at a nice couple's house until the storm passes. Artur stays at Holly's while she has a date come over.

Carrie has a work event at a ball park, and she's trying very hard to impress a client, but Doug makes it very difficult.

When Doug finds out that he can earn a free Plasma screen TV at a timeshare ski resort, he tricks Carrie into going. But they both find out it will be difficult in getting that TV when the sales people enter the picture.

Doug wants Carrie to take pole dancing lessons so she can give shows for him in the bedroom.

Doug and Carrie consider marriage counseling while Arthur wants to direct (and act in) a play at the senior center.

Doug tells Carrie that it is his tenth anniversary at IPS, but Carrie recalls that it should have been three months earlier. Concerned because of benefits, RSPs, etc. she threatens to call IPS to have the date corrected. Doug can only stop her by now owning up to why she is wrong about the date in question. The episode then flashes back to when Doug and Carrie were dating and Doug has to lie to Carrie about a job in order to further their relationship.

When Doug doesn't get invited to his new co-worker Jared's barbecue party, he tries to understand why Jared doesn't like him. Then later, Doug arranges that he and Jared go and deliver packages together on a long route. Carrie than begins to notice that none of her co-workers like her so to get the buzz going, she gives one of her co-workers an awesome make over.

Holly announces that she is moving to Manhattan with a boyfriend and won't be able to walk Arthur any longer. But Carrie begins to make Holly question on the big move. Deacon gets a sandwich named after himself at his and Doug's hangout because he made a combo of food that later became popular. Doug notices that he was actually the one that created the sandwich.

Spence wants to go to a Fantasy Fest with Lou Ferrigno but dumps him after Adam West agrees to go to the Fest with Spence. Meanwhile Doug frequently visits a very pretty hairdresser.

When Doug surprises Carrie to a relaxing get away to a bed and breakfast, it doesn't turn out the way he planned. For starters, it seems to be filled with a whole bunch of cats and owned by an old couple who don't know their own boundaries (and has a long-lost son who resembles Doug). Carrie then hears there is a spa hotel near by and decides she wants to escape. While Doug and Carrie are gone, Arthur invites a woman from the retirement home that he has had his eye on to seduce her.

One of their neighbors move and Doug and Carrie knew that Deacon and Kelly are looking for a place, so they ask if they want them to be their neighbors. But Deacon and Kelly don't want to live next door to Doug and Carrie. When looking at the house themselves Danny and Spence meet a beautiful Albanian woman who they then begin to fight over.

Carrie drags Doug to a karaoke bar and when he gets up on stage he is very nervous, but he starts feeling confident and sings great. When they get home Doug gets an e-mail from a woman that was at the karaoke bar. Doug is at first very flattered, but then the woman begins to send e-mails that makes Doug think that she is stalking him.

Arthur goes to visit Carrie's mothers grave and Carrie decides to go along. Doug gets a visit from his friend Ray Barone and they get in an argument on who is the more attractive between the two. They then find out that the ladies don't even notice them.

It's the Christmas season and Doug and Carrie run into their Reverand who ropes Doug into doing guard duty for the Christmas decorations at the church and he also gets Carrie into making a cake for the church. When Doug sees a fellow guarder's wife bring him hot soup to help warm him from the outside cold, Doug begins to feel that Carrie doesn't do enough wife stuff . Arthur and Spence decide to try and write a Christmas song.

Doug borrows the baby Danny is sitting to prove to Carrie he'd make a good dad.

Carrie wants a promotion at her work, but her boss says the committee won't hire her because of the way she talks. An upset Carrie decides to get diction lessons from Spence, to learn how to speak more lady like. Doug's mother comes up to visit and sits in on a guys gambling game. Doug begins to notice that she can really play so he invites her in on more games to cash in on more money.

Doug and his friends get an apartment above a Chinese restaurant in order to be away from the women in their lives. Carrie takes on Kirstie Alley as a client but soon finds out she has to be a designated “eater”: for her. After a botched delivery by Doug (who takes on a job at the restaurant to pay the rent) Carrie finds out about the apartment.

When Arthur comes home from his vacation, he brings Doug and Carrie a set of sheets as a souvenir and he brings some bed bugs along too. Carrie and Doug then have to have an exterminator take care of them and he said it will take all night. So now they have to spend the night out in the city where a lot happens. Spence and Danny argue on where they want to take a vacation. Danny wants to go to Vegas, while Spence wants to go to the Aztec Ruins. So to settle there argument they wrestle for it.

After Carrie pushes Doug down the stairs she starts to feel guilty, and Doug milks it for all he can get.

On the party for their eleventh anniversary, Doug and Carrie get a portrait of the two of them from Deacon and Kelly. They dislike it so much they stage a fake robbery to get rid of it.

While they're having dinner at a restaurant a man who's in wigs tells Doug Carrie's hair is worth $3,000 dollars.

It's Doug's 40th birthday and when Carrie's co-worker begins to question Carrie on weather if Doug is freaking out or not about getting older and not accomplishing a whole lot. Carrie then begins to try to make Doug realize that he should start wanting to do more with his life. So Doug decides he wants to ride a roller coaster that he was to afraid to ride when he was younger.

When going to the cinema, Doug and Carrie can't decide on which film they want to see. They run into Deacon and Kelly and it turns out Kelly wants to see the picture Doug wants to see and Deacon likes the film Carrie likes. It turns out Doug and Kelly have more in common and they start doing more things together. So do Deacon and Carrie.

Carrie has to go build houses in Hartford for work while Doug wants to watch Planet of the Apes all weekend with her. He follows her to Harford and finds out she had a change of plans that didn't involve him. Meanwhile Danny and Spence find a way to sneak into a Huey Lewis concert, but things don't go well.

Carrie's work has her mentor a troubled teen, but when actually hanging out with the teen, Carrie begins to become more pressured into her old misbehaving self. Another packaging company named Prioruty Plus takes the IPS table at Doug's hangout and the IPS drivers let them know how much they hate them. But Doug later befriends one of them and he tries to keep the relationship secret.

When Carrie insists that Doug figure out how to invest their tax return check, Doug decides to buy an ice cream truck from a stranger.

Things get out of hand as Doug frantically tries to stop a woman who claims to have spent a romantic weekend with him from calling the house.

Carrie gets upset because one of her fellow secretaries “steals her moxie” and gets a promotion, and everything at IPS falls apart after Doug temporarily takes over the office.

Deacon and Kelly don't want Doug around Major anymore after he inadvertently scares him, and Arthur begins a new business selling senior citizen services to carpoolers.

Doug adopts a dog at a block party to look like a better person, without telling Carrie. After Doug turns the dog into him (lazy) the couple tries to find a way to get rid of it.

An unflattering picture by Major prompts Arthur to ask Doug and Carrie for braces. Meanwhile, Kelly hires an out-of-work Spence to help out around the house.

When Deacon and Kelly buy a vacation home, Carrie is upset because they could have easily afforded it, but they were too cheap.

After almost running over a chicken on the highway, Doug becomes more animal-sensitive and decides to become a vegetarian.

It's Doug's high school reunion, and he's going “Stag”, while Carrie relaxes at home and tries to watch a movie with Arthur.

When Carrie discovers the apartment she wanted when they first got married is now affordable, Carrie wants to move into Manhattan and buy it. The only problem is Arthur. Arthur later meets a woman that he wishes to live with and marry. Now Doug is being forced to move out of Queens.

Carrie moves to Manhattan, but Doug refuses to leave the house in Queens. But ultimately, they find the one thing that will keep them together–or so it seems.